A bad time of year

    To begin with these will be my own private and sincere thoughts that I am willing to share with you. In fact it will be like a public diary of myself at times. So please do not judge me as a know-it all or expert in the field of human relationships. Once again these posts will change on a regular basis reflecting the moment in which they are written. If you have any observations or comments to make, please do so in the comment section below this post. If you have any questions I will try to get back to you as soon as possible if you leave an email address so I can reach you. So let us begin.

   This has to be the worst time of the year for me as I have just turned a grand old age of 60 years old last Monday and am still single. One might say that since it is Christmas time I should be feeling all festive and happy instead. Well I was, up to about 2 years ago when it finally began to sink into me that this was as best as it was going to get, especially at my age.

I am still feeling these thoughts of happiness and joy as they say but at a more moderately view. Being by yourself at this time of the year is not an easy thing to do. In fact I think the only other time of the year that is just as bad as this one is in February for valentine day.

   Sure I am still happy for others and am in a kind of festive spirit when I go out, but when you reach your destination and find yourself always the odd man out at Christmas party’s with no significant other at your side it begins to sink in. Even finding a date at my age is getting harder to do as I am young at heart and can still party till the wee hours of the morning with no visible signs of stress. But on the other side finding a woman my age that still stays up past 9 pm is getting to be quite a feat.

   Even the younger women that I ask out at times can only do so much as an age gap is frowned at in our society. This affects them and they wish to stay away from this as much as possible. I do not blame them at all.

   As for the rest of my age category woman, usually they are more mellow and only wish to stay in and watch TV or DVD movies, or even just talk away the time. I am up to this to, as constantly going out does take a tole on you, but I would at least go out a couple of times a month to break the doldrums, especially at this time of the year with so much going on. I would like to go back to the times of my younger days when I dated. We would not go out all the times. Sometimes I would go over to just sit and watch TV with my arm around my girl on the couch just cuddling. Other times I would ask her to my place for something to do as well as enjoy a home cooked meal I prepared. As I am a self-proclaimed cook.

   Then on a lot of occasions we would go out to a movie and drinks afterwards before I escorted her back home. Other times we would be more active in our dates and spend a whole day doing things together before going dancing at some local clubs.

These days I cannot do much dancing anymore like I use to as I have a bad hip, but still can do a waltz or two. And I still like to listen to different live music bands at some clubs in town.

   Unfortunately the woman who are my age seem to not like this too much and do not go with me whenever I ask, choosing to just sit and pass the time away. Even going to the movies now is beginning to change as when I do go by myself I still go to the later dinner than movie combo’s that are offered or make my own.

   When a female friend my own age comes I have to go to the afternoon matinée and a very quick early super as they do not wish to stay out late.

Mind you I realize that time has slipped away on me and I am old, but I do not wish to just sit there like in a coma and just pass the time away waiting to die. When I go I will go kicking and screaming as I have too much a liking for life to just give up calmly. I also understand that my woman friends may not feel well on days and would like to rest, but not every time? Surely there must be a woman out there that feels like I do, even at my age.

Now after all this, one might ask what about being intimate with a woman. Well yes I still desire women but do not need a woman to have a good time. If it occurs I am all for it but do not have to if she does not respond favorably, even if I would still wish to proceed. Again I find that woman my age do not seem to desire it very often and when they do it does not last long as they tire and just wish it to end.

On the other hand I have been with younger woman and they have responded quite good to my touches and advances for a prolonged time. I do not call myself a master lover or anything and am far from it, as you never finish learning new things about woman. But I am still able to bring the woman in her out a few times true different methods.

But without a true relationship between two people the rest is not as good as one thinks when you are younger. It is when you find and feel the special bond between you and your partner that brings out the true romance and quality in the relationship. This is so even if you are just dating the woman. Because when you date, a bond begins to form between both of you without your realizations as you grow closer to each other. This is because you begin to know each other’s likes and dislikes as well as other shared private things between you.

   Otherwise, it is just going thru the motions with a complete stranger and can be achieved just as well by self-gratification, but on a slightly bigger scale with no emotions involved at all.

This will be my last post for this year and I look forward to writing more during the following year as I once again begin to age and learn more about myself and others, as I move forward true this sometimes rocky road called life. So please bear with me as we take this journey together along my path of self discovery.

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